Should is not your compass. Should is often someone else’s map. And the more you follow it, the farther you drift from your own truth. The silent pressure of ‘shoulds’—the ones we carry from family, culture, and society—can quietly derail our authentic path. Through powerful mindset shifts and simple reflection practices, you’ll learn how to pause, question the narrative, and reclaim your voice. Letting go of should doesn’t mean you’re giving up. It’s finally showing up for the life that’s calling you.
Have you ever found yourself buried under a mountain of ‘shoulds’?
“I should have that job by now.”
“I should be married.”
“I should be further along.”
Should. Should. Should.
It’s the silent pressure that whispers, you’re not enough until…
But what if the life you should be living is actually keeping you from the life you could be living?
The Weight of External Expectations
From a young age, we begin to absorb expectations from family, culture, teachers, media, and society at large. These expectations surround us like invisible rules, shaping how we perceive success, identity, and our place in the world.
Over time, we mistake these expectations for truth. We begin to follow a path we didn’t choose, driven by the desire to be “enough” in the eyes of others.
But here’s the truth:
Should is not your compass. Should is often someone else’s map.
And if you’re constantly chasing what you think you should do, you’ll miss what your soul is actually calling you to do.
How to Begin Letting Go
Letting go of the ‘shoulds’ doesn’t happen overnight, but it begins with awareness. Here are three powerful steps to help you start the journey:
- Pause and Notice
What is the ‘should’ that’s weighing you down right now?
Say it out loud and write it down.
See it for what it is: not a fact, but a story.
One that you’ve probably been told or internalized over time. The first step to releasing its power is recognizing it.
- Ask: Who Does This Belong To?
Take a moment to ask yourself:
Whose voice is this?
Who told me I should want this?
Is it yours? Or was it handed to you by someone else’s idea of success?
You don’t owe anyone your authenticity in exchange for approval.
You owe yourself the chance to live a life aligned with your values, not someone else’s timeline or definition of worth.
- Rewrite the Rule
Here’s where transformation begins.
“I should be further along,” becomes
→ “I am exactly where I need to be to grow.”
“I should have it all figured out,” becomes
→ “I’m allowed to evolve and explore.”
Give yourself permission to change the narrative. Rewrite your internal rules with compassion, courage, and clarity.
Your Life. Your Truth.
Letting go of should doesn’t mean giving up; it means showing up.
For yourself.
For your dreams.
For your peace.
You don’t have to live a life that checks all the boxes. Live a life that feels true for you, aligns with your purpose, and fills you with peace.
So here’s your invitation today:
Drop the should.
Pick up your voice.
And walk boldly toward the path that’s calling you.
Even if it’s unfamiliar.
Even if it’s not what others expected.
Especially if it sets your soul on fire.
Because the life you could live, the one that’s waiting on the other side of letting go, that’s where your freedom lives.
Highlights
- [00:00] Introduction: The Burden of Shoulds
- [00:42] Recognizing External Expectations
- [01:11] Identifying and Releasing Shoulds
- [01:49] Rewriting Your Own Rules
- [02:10] Living Authentically
- [02:26] Invitation to Change
- [02:55] Connect for Personal Growth
Resources:
SOAR Reflection Journal https://acmcoachinggroup.thinkific.com/courses/the-soar-method-explained-and-journal-reflection-guide
Design Your Future Self With The S.O.A.R. Method® Course https://acmcoachinggroup.thinkific.com/courses/design-your-future-self
The S.O.A.R. to Success Deck: 50 Cards to Elevate Your Life and Achieve Your Goals https://www.andreacmclean.com/product/the-s-o-a-r-success-deck-50-cards-to-elevate-your-life-and-achieve-your-goals/
